He’s a Man, But He’s Human

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Hey people it’s me again and today I’d like to talk about the silent heroes in our lives… they are called men.
The ones everyone expect to always stay strong, the ones everyone expect to always fix it, to always have an answer, to always do something, the ones who have no choice but to have a choice…MEN
Someone once asked me if I could switch lives with anyone for a day, who would it be, I thought to myself and right before I said Beyoncé (yes I know it’s cliche) I realized my answer would be my dad, the person didn’t understand why but I do, I’d like to switch lives with him just so I know where he might be hurting and what he might need, so I can at least try to be there for him in ways that truly count.
Everyone hurts and everyone has needs but our society has forbidden our men the right to show where it hurts and the privilege to say their true needs.
I was watching a movie and an expectant father lost his child, guess what? He couldn’t take a second to grieve because the moment he found out, he had to be there for his wife…my question is, what about him?
Dear Men, I hope you see this and tell yourselves it’s okay to have feelings too, it’s okay to be tired, It’s okay to be in love and stick to one person, it’s okay to take a breath and it’s definitely okay to have emotions and express them.
It’s okay to be like everyone else, you are very much allowed to realize even heroes take a break, you can too.
You don’t have to hold everything in and watch your wall come crashing down.
You don’t have to form “bad man” when all you want is very simple.
You don’t have to succumb to what others think of you.
Are you hurting? Speak Up
Do you have needs? Ask
Feeling some type of way? Express yourself
Yes, You are a man… but first, you are HUMAN!

Dear Young Adults

452E153E-6CB3-4384-8D44-97553E555409A beautiful young lady asked me to write something to those like her who recently graduated secondary school and are going into the next phase of their lives.
Here it is…
Dear young adults, first of, I’d like to wish you a very hearty congratulations on your accomplishments thus far, you should be beyond proud of yourselves, and in case no one told you, it’s not automatic to be where you are right now and your efforts are very much appreciated… THANK YOU
Now you are here, many of you knowing exactly what you want to do next, some of you being caught in between different options and a few of you not having an idea what’s next.
All these are very much okay, we’ve all been there, the rush, excitement, confusion, numbness, blankness, anxiety and all the way back to excitement all over again… Yes! I’ve been there, again…now you are here.
Are you totally sure what you want to do next? Are you caught in between different options? You have no idea what or where to go next? That’s totally fine, whatever it is, make sure you are doing it for yourself, your present self, your future self; the one who will have to face the result of whatever decision you make now, choose the path you’ll look back at in 10years and wink at your younger self with all the pride that’s humanly possible, choose the path you’ll be proud to scream to the world about,the path you need no one else to convince you is the right one, the path even you know is the right one.
If there’s even one ounce of doubt in you it might not be okay, how about you have a rethink?
It’s okay to be confused, no one has it all figured out, not even those you look greatly up to, let me tell you something no one ever really told me.
Growing up is not fun, growing up is not the best thing that will ever happen to you, it’s not all you should look forward to and definitely leaving your parents house will not give you all the freedom you need, it’ll only expose you to a world where you have no idea where you stand and no one to give you a second to catch your breathe!

Adulthood is not all you should hope to attain, no one really knows what they are doing, we are all really just winging it and hoping nothing comes crashing down.

So my darlings, catch a breathe, take a second, feel the moment, enjoy your youthfulness, embrace your life and take your time. Take It Easy!

Someone once said “You only have a few years to be young and the rest of your life to be old”

So why rush what you have to do for the rest of your life?

And if you ever have to make a decision or choose between right or wrong, which from now on you will have to, A LOT!

Ask yourself, what’s the worse that could happen, if this worse is more than you want to handle… I guess you have your answer.

Again…Congratulations!!!

Welcome to the beginning of the rest of your lives🎉

Why Stop Now?

Hey You, it’s a beautiful Monday morning and you are either on your way to work, school, going to drop off your kids or a sibling, who knows, you might even just be home, but whatever it is, we all know that new week feeling, that particular vibe. Sometimes we ask ourselves if we are doing it all right, or if we are even doing anything at all, no one knows the answer, well…maybe you do, maybe you don’t, but one thing is certain, the moment you don’t stop, the moment you choose to keep going, you will realize you are a step closer to whatever it is you’ve always wanted, whatever it is you’ve always prayed for, whatever it is you’ve always silently asked the universe for. 

Though, sometimes it feels like nothing is working out right, like the world is against you, like you are unlucky or you are just hopeless, but no, things are working out and you just don’t pay enough attention to see them, they are just so minute they go unnoticed, the world is not against you, you are not unlucky and it most definitely would work out. Think of the times you were so desperate for the things you have now, things you probably didn’t even remember to be thankful for, take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come and you’ll realize how much further you can go and how much better you can do, if you can get to where you are right now, who can stop you from the rest of your amazing dreams? 

You just don’t stop, keep working, keep dreaming, keep claiming it, who knows, the universe might just come to terms with it. Believe it and the world will come around. Remember, if anyone can, why not you?

You’ve come too far to stop, and if you haven’t started, it’s okay, now is always a good time to snap out of whatever it is and get started. 

I once read somewhere that you should do whatever you have to do tomorrow today, and whatever you have to do today, do it NOW!

So, don’t forget, It’s too early to give up, and wayyyy too late to quit…. well, something like that… lool

Don’t let the new week get to you, there’s another in 7 days, it should inspire you not depress you, motivate you and not weaken you, just keep moving, crawl, walk, jump, run or fly if you can, you just don’t stop moving.

Who knows, you might just be a second away from your fireworks, why stop now!

Life Is Not Bright Yellow

Hey people, hope you had a good and productive week…

So a few days ago, my friends and I found ourselves talking about a lot of things and what we think about them, and at some point we came to the conclusion that life is just…. I don’t know, life is life.

So many times we find ourselves asking certain questions we know have no particular answers, but we ask anyway, hoping for once there could be some sort of clarity to a very cloudy situation…sadly, there are no rules, no guidance, no handbooks. 

No right or wrong sometimes, no options other times, you grow up with some principle you’d defend with a gun to your head, only to reach a particular phase of your life and realize it goes deeper than those principles, or at the very least, it’s mere theory and you can’t exactly do anything with them but to go by the waves of the world you live in and dance to the tune, whether or not it’s of your favorite genre.

As beautiful and magical as the birth of a new born is, have you ever wondered why their first reaction is wailing? I suppose even they know what they just got into, and no matter how much you love a child, you hope to God he/she will come out and literally scream their lungs out just like their pairs. The world is not a place you come into with a smile or some loud laughter….what’s funny anyway? And it doesn’t get easier, it never does. Some do everything it takes and only take a few steps, yet some make a ”few” calculations and fly higher than you’ve ever witnessed, a few of us play by the books and do okay, yet some others just do as they please and go beyond! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying some people don’t deserve what they get or the “few” calculations they make does not take everything they have, all I’m  trying to say is there are no particular rules to how life works and how to achieve your desires, different people bear different crosses and those you think have it easy probably just spent their last dime with the brightest smile on their faces. 

We live in a world where you can’t be strict on rules, yet you can’t be found not adhering to them, you won’t always have an explanation, yet you can’t be caught speechless, you are not given options, yet you have to make a wise choice.

You won’t always understand life, you might not always see reasons, what you know won’t always be the only truth, and those you know won’t always be your only salvation, you’ll grow, you’ll change, you’ll live. Just know, life has never really been black or white, won’t it be amazing if it was bright yellow? 

But no, it’s mostly gray my darling….Gray!

Yours…

S

Speak Up…Voice Out

Hey people, today I’d like to talk about speaking up on some major things we keep quiet about, which go a long way in affecting our mental stability.

We all go through certain things in life we’d rather not talk about for some reason or the other, either we are not proud of what we are doing or what is being done to us, sometimes we just can’t imagine how disappointed people we care about will be at us or we just want to put up a strong front for those that are looking up to us. 

What we need to know is everyone is going through something, whatever it is, you are not in it alone, we all leave our homes, sometimes deciding to drop our baggage behind the door and wear the biggest of smiles. Whatever it is you are going through, it’s happened to someone before you, you are not the first, speaking up goes a long way in helping to resolve issues, you never can tell who can have a solution for you, the least you can get is good counsel or just the peace that comes with ranting, sometimes all you need to do is talk, indulge in a few moments of expressing yourself, cry if you have to and get the help you need. There’s no award for the strongest person, your emotional stability is much more important than what people might or will say about you, remember those that judge you don’t matter and those that matter will never judge you, they see you beyond the strong front you put up and can tell not everything is right, don’t push them away, talk to them, find the help you need, and you’ll overcome whatever it is. 

You need to speak up for your sake and for those who need and love you

You need to stop being silent because the world will point fingers without having an idea what being in your shoes is like

You need to seek the help you need because if you stay mute just to prove your strength, those you remain strong for will only remember you once in a while and learn to laugh again.

Please always choose yourself, it’s okay to have a moment of weakness if it helps your mental stability and remember anyone who puts you in such state that you have to suffer in silence is not worth having in your life.

Please Kindly get the help you need.

I hope and pray we all find the strength we need to get the help we deserve.

Love

S

RAISE YOUR SONS!

Ever wondered why men grow up being “boys” forever? Why they expect to find a “mother” in their wives and transfer that same “privilege” right into their daughters once they come of age? Why brothers automatically expect you as a sister to tend to them irrespective of age? Why the world expects you to swallow things up and fix your man rather than put out a complaint?

We live in a world where women have been so brainwashed into believing having a son is the best thing that could ever happen to a mother and this “honour” is so overwhelming that they never want a passing fly to perch on their wonderful gift from God called a son. And because of this, he is automatically more valuable than his sisters, too cute to be comprehended and too adorable he could never do anything wrong, as a matter of fact, every wrong he does is just a silly mistake you should laugh at and overlook, no one dares say a word to mummy dearest’s adorable babyboy and daddy sunshine’s glaring mirror, and all of a sudden he’s 10, and as my mum says, whatever you’d like to mould your children into, it has to be done before the age of 10, after this, you can only try…well goodluck to you. 

Now mummy dearest’s adorable babyboy can not understand why he has to lift a finger for anything, daddy sunshine’s  glaring mirror is used to everyone but him doing what has to be done and it would only take the sky to fall for him to be convinced he has to fend for himself, after all the world has been moved for 10 years to get him whatever he wants, why should anything change now.

To make things worse, we live in a society where it’s okay for men to have their way, and totally ridiculous for a woman to even think of taking a day off.

Dear Parents, Your work can never be over emphasized, you are amazing, and the world will never be able to appreciate you enough and no one can take that away from you. BUT!  please kindly stop indulging your sons in the name of loving them, as Michelle Obama said “We love our boys, and we raise our girls”

You love them till you can’t fix them and then shove them off to get married and hope an innocent woman will do your job for you.

I think It’s about time both sons and daughters were raised equally, don’t bring up a child to become a liability to the society, the world is going through enough as it is!

Yours….S💖

Love Yourself…Know Your Worth

Hey beautiful people, so as we all know I don’t exactly have a particular field of topics streamlined. I like to touch whatever it is we can all relate to and hopefully learn from, but today I hope we will not just relate and learn but accept and believe…
This one’s for YOU💋
There are over a billion people in the world, over a hundred and fifty million in Nigeria alone, so many faces, characters and personality, tons of religion, diversity in culture and many tongues speaking different languages that all result in the same meaning. My point? The world is large!
But as large as it is, want to know what stands out? What’s different, what has no replica? You!
It’s a beautiful time to be alive, an amazing moment in the history of the universe to be in existence and a purely opportune season to be yourself…but how can you be yourself when you don’t even know yourself, how possible is it for you to choose yourself when you don’t know your worth, of what point is being if you don’t love yourself. You are different, you are beautiful, you are an extraordinary being, you are amazing, and you can be whoever and whatever you choose to be. All it takes is for you to know this, accept it and acknowledge it, know you are different, seize the opportunity of knowing no one else can be you, you fought millions of spermatozoa to make it here. And for what? To let others ride over you? To accept whatever terms they place on your life like it’s theirs? To settle for less than you know you deserve because of what they dictate? Of what use is anyone who doesn’t see you as what you can be but merely as what you are.
Of what use is anyone who wouldn’t only love you the wrong way but convince you it’s the only way you can be loved.
Of what use is anyone who concludes they are only doing you a favour by being around you and “tolerating” you.
You need to love yourself enough to show people how to do it right
If you don’t choose to stand for yourself and know what to take, the world is ready to treat you as less, after all, if you think you don’t deserve more, why should they?
Take a good look at yourself and say, I am beautiful, I am more than people see, I am everything I choose to be and more, I am extraordinary, I am different, uniquely carved by a master artist, I am who no one else can be, I am ME
I will not be stopped, I will not be pushed, I will not be moved, I refuse to be broken…For I have chosen to know my worth. I choose to love myself, I choose ME.

Your…S

 

Dear Ms Meghan Markle

Dear Ms Meghan Markle, though it is very much awkward addressing you this way because I’ve always known and referred to you as Rachel Zane.
First of, I’d like to congratulate you on your wedding, I wouldn’t say congratulations on your marriage to Prince Harry, because if anyone is to be congratulated for being with the other, it should be the prince himself, for he’s one lucky gentle man for the gift of winning your heart.
When I first heard of the royal engagement, my immediate reaction was that of elation, I was so excited one would think I knew you beyond suits. But as all reality set it, it occurred to me everything you’d be letting go of. The heartbreak started when I realized you couldn’t feature in Suits anymore and the final shot was when you shut down all your social media accounts, it got to me much more than it should have, as it felt like you took away the very final piece of whom you really are…or were.
Please kindly do not get me wrong, it feels beautiful and absolutely blissful to be loved by a man no one thought was capable of loving and settling and everything that’s been going on really does feel like a fairytale, as a matter of fact I think it is, but why do I feel like no one can ever really be totally happy if love has to cost them their entire life? And why am I scared the reality of love not being enough might come to play?
Why can’t I be as excited as I was before everything fully occurred to me!
I’m a big advocate of happiness and I want to be genuinely happy for you, but I just hope you are happy too, and this is not all because you didn’t even realize all it would cost you before you got into it.
I wish and pray I’m wrong
I wish you everything amazing life and love has to offer
I wish you a lifetime of love and happiness.
Congratulations Darling Mrs Meghan Markle

Yours…
Faruq Suaad💖

You Can Be More Than Married

Hey people, it’s me again, and today I’d like to address a topic not everyone would totally agree with but then, it is what it is….
Being African, there are a few basic things that are expected of us, some we have no choice but to concur, others we tell ourselves are the only options.
One of these being what should be done at each age bracket and where one should be at every certain phase of life, how to think, what to think and how far our thinking should go, we are expected to go through the early stages of life getting educated, right from the primary stage to the tertiary, after which you are expected to get a few years of work experience, then settle down and get married, women are expected to focus on their “ticking clock” right from ages 23/24 and men once they’ve earned “enough” and their parents need a grandchild. Yes this is beautiful, yes marriage is a wonderful union between two families and it definitely goes a long way in helping procreation which is one of God’s personal ministries, and I sincerely hope at some point or the other, may we all find that one person we’d love to spend the rest of our lives with. What’s not so beautiful or even impressive if you ask me, is telling ourselves that’s all there is to life, believing our biggest achievement as human beings is getting married and that’s where it should end.
No! You were created to be so much more than married, you were born to go beyond being someone’s parent, you were not given a chance at life just to be somebody’s. Take a look at yourself and ask, who are you without your wedding band, who are you after your children stop being so dependent, who are you beyond the four walls of your marriage, are you a pace setter or a norm regulator, a defiance to what’s expected or everyone’s favorite, a “thinker” or an “it’s okay”, an earth shaker or a comfort zone advocate. In a few years, what would you like to be known for, known with and known by, if your answers don’t exactly excite or even scare you, maybe it’s about time you re-evaluated and choose to be more rather than okay. Okay is not okay, okay gets no one anywhere, all it does is make you exactly what it is….Okay
If your heroes can, you can
If your mentors can, you can
If anyone can, you can
You were created to be more than just married
You were born to be more than someone’s parent
You were given a chance at life to be more than merely somebody’s
Incase no one ever told you, you can be more….You Can Be More!

Let’s Talk Heartbreaks

Hey people, it’s me again….Today I’d like to address something we’ve all been through, yet delve right back in and get hit every time….well most times…HEARTBREAK
“There are plenty of ways to die, but only love can kill and keep you alive to feel it”….. Leo Christopher
We’ve all been there, at least I’m sure I have, some sudden, some expected, some inevitable, it just happens, and you ask yourself how did you get here! Or why did you let it get that far, what did you do wrong, was it you, was it really what they said went wrong or something entirely different. At first it doesn’t even hit you, you cry, you scream, you can literally feel your heart break into a thousand pieces, yet, as time goes on, it occurs to you that tears was the easiest part of the grief, nothing excites you anymore, you think of running back and making it work but it’s clearly too late.
So you tell yourself it’s okay, you’ve been through it before and you’ll get over it, you listen to your favorite songs and even create a playlist, Adele being the most on such, some days you wake up feeling better, others, you wish you never did, and then it hits you all over again, and at this point, you get the tears and the pain.
Yes we’ve all been there, but this is me telling you it wasn’t your fault, you did nothing to find yourself there, it’s okay to have been too blind in love to let it get that far, you did nothing wrong, it’s not you, whether or not it’s what they say went wrong doesn’t matter anymore, it’s okay to cry it out, it’s okay to indulge, take sometime for yourself, talk if you want to, don’t if you don’t feel like it, whatever it is, pick you, choose you, love you, remind yourself you deserve better, tell yourself you’ll be fine again, believe the universe when it says it has better plans for you, trust in your guts, it will be dawn again.
And as I read somewhere ”never let a heart that did not love you stop you from the one that will”
Someday, maybe not today, maybe not  tomorrow, but someday, you’ll wake up and you’ll realize it doesn’t hurt so bad anymore, you can breathe again, you can laugh again, and you can dance again, this, will be your happy place, I promise.
You just take it one day at a time…
Love…S💛